So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
