dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
