allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
