If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize