The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need a beard to bite.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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