You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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