It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
then he tried to convert me to islam
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
