There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
