see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
