"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
