shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
