thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
