I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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