Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize