what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We just shotgunned beers for America
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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