Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
