i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize