loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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