Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
