I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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