Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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