You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
