I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
