oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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