That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
