The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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