also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
