plz talk dirty to me
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just invented taco cereal.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Randomize
