Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
