what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
