I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Terrible idea I love it
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
