doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize