I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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