is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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