Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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