I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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