I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
