They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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