why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize