I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize