): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
