You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
