drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
