I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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