The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
