he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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