So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
