they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize