They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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