Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?

Fav 17 1178 1987
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(703): View more from Virginia

His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?

Fav 32 1151 4183
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(847): View more from Illinois

just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom

Fav 12 1122 4042
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(303): View more from Colorado

stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.

Fav 13 5100 1297
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(609): View more from New Jersey

He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.

Fav 15 4698 1537
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(803): View more from South Carolina

For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.

Fav 3 1551 2058
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(303): View more from Colorado

My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted

Fav 8 4343 1347
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!

Fav 14 2563 868
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.

Fav 1 324 178
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