very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize