I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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