Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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