Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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