My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
