the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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