I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
this is an emotional support booty call
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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