her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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