my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
